Category Archives: Random Musings

The Big Beautiful Ass

There was a poor man, all he had was a donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. Wanting to celebrate, he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He […]

Meanwhile up in Alaska

The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was driving along near a campground when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the […]

Employee Evaluation

Be sure to read through to the bottom… 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to […]

Great one liners

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder… 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t. Why is “abbreviation” such […]

A stupid, good ‘ol Texan boy on a flight

flags down a steward and says, “Captain, I want a drink but I don’t see any of those sexy little stewardesses around”. The steward answers, “Actually I’m not the captain. This airline is proud to […]

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration […]

50 Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to […]

Signs That You Are Broke

American Express calls and says, “Leave home without it!” Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank. You’ve rolled so […]

WORDS OF WIT AND WISDOM

In just two days tomorrow will be yesterday. But I never saw either on the calendar Always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it. My friend has kleptomania, but when it […]

25 Signs that Your Getting OLD

I received this today 1. You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead. 2. Your back goes out more than you do. 3. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks […]

There are ways to get things done

A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned […]

The makers of ‘I Can’t Believe it’s not Butter’

Also offer some smaller-market margarine brands: * Shut The Front Door! * He Won’t Know the Difference * Tasty Valley * Palmer’s Choice * Ya Gotta Be Shittin’ Me * Hell, no! * I Dare […]

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