Category Archives: Uncategorized

The burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from […]

Viagra

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband’s sex drive. ‘What about trying Viagra?’ asks the doctor. ‘Not a chance’ says Mrs. Murphy. “He won’t even take an […]

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.” 3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.” 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations […]

How To Be Annoying (2)

1. Begin all your sentences with “ooh la la!” 2. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 3. only type in lowercase. 4. dont use any punctuation either 5. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and […]

In the Air

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies room, […]

Are You Kidding?

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 […]

At the Construction Site

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After […]

Taxi Colors

Two cab drivers met. “Hey,” asked one, “what’s the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?” “Well,” the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should […]

More Great one Liners

I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. There cannot be a crisis today; […]

Test

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by […]

Naval Operations

The following is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations: #1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. #2: Recommend you divert your course 15 […]

Jigsaw Puzzle

A blonde calls up her best friend (a brunette) one day because she is very upset. “I can’t get this jigsaw puzzle put together, and I’ve been trying for weeks,” she cries. “Could you please […]

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