Tag Archives: food

Ways to Order Pizza by Phone

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use CB lingo where […]

Viagra

A woman asks her husband, ‘Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?’ He declines. ‘Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right now. It’s this […]

The makers of ‘I Can’t Believe it’s not Butter’

Also offer some smaller-market margarine brands: * Shut The Front Door! * He Won’t Know the Difference * Tasty Valley * Palmer’s Choice * Ya Gotta Be Shittin’ Me * Hell, no! * I Dare […]

How To Make Pie

Grandma made such beautiful pies. One day I asked her, “How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?” “Well, it’s a family secret,” she said. “But if you […]

Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: Recently I was honored to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at […]

A couple of rib ticklers

Bats in the Belfry Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “Since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried […]

The Rules of Chocolate