The Big Beautiful Ass

There was a poor man, all he had was a donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. Wanting to celebrate, he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he thinks he’s going with the donkey.
“Anywhere I go, she goes.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” said the manager, “but you can’t take that beast upstairs; Leave it down here with us and we’ll take good care of her.” So he goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, even an 85 inch Ultra HD television. He doesn’t want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor.
The next morning upon checking out the manager asks how his night was.
”Great!” he replied. ”How much do I have to pay?” he asks.
”One thousand dollars for the food.”
”But I haven’t touched the food.”
”It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV.”
”But I didn’t even know how to turn the damn thing on!”
”It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed.”
”But I slept on the floor!”
”It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars.”
”You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey.”
”But sir, I didn’t screw your donkey.”
”It was there. You should have!”