Drunken Irishman
Murphy and Seamus are planning to go out on a Saturday night, but only have 50 cents between them.
Murphy has an idea, he takes the 50 cents of Seamus, goes to a butcher shop and buys a sausage.
Seamus is really pissed off at first that Murphy spent their last money on a sausage, but Murphy lets him in on his plan.
“We are going into the next pub, order two pints, drink them and when it comes to paying you go down on your knees, unzip my trousers, pull the sausage out and start sucking on it”
So, they go into the first pub and do exactly as Murphy suggested. The barmaid is disgusted by the sight and kicks the two out.
Murphy says: “see it works, we didn’t pay did we?”
As Murphy’s plan seems to be working they carry on doing it…
In the 12th pub, both are quite drunk by now,
Seamus isn’t looking too good. They have just finished their pints…
Seamus: “I can’t do this anymore Murph my bloody knees are hurting as fuck…!”
Murphy: “No worries…I lost that bloody sausage in the third pub!”