– Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
– There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
– Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
– The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere…and let the air out of their tires.
– Families are like fudge…mostly sweet with a few nuts.
– Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
– The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
– If you can remain calm, you don’t have all the facts.
– Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.
– You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.