Great one liners

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error…
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone…