As I hearken back to my youth growing up in New Hampshire, I recall this one particular rather cold February morning of sub-zero temperatures and sharing a room with my older brother.
Now said older brother and my father had kinda become drinking buddies as the years went on and this one morning in particular we were to experience a moment brought about by the effects of what happened the night before so hang loose.
Dad and older brother decide to go out for an evening of drinking st the local American Legion hall and they ended up staying there until they closed for the night and then came home. All the while my brother is chowing down on pickled eggs and washing them down with beer. This is going to set the stage for what happens the next morning. You have to remember that those two items together can be a deadly combination to any innocent or not so innocent bystanders.
I wake up in the morning to what I can only describe as an unholy stench in the bedroom I am sharing with my brother. My eyes are watering but I soon shrug it off and make my way out to the kitchen where our mother is making breakfast for us and a hearty breakfast it was featuring; EGGS (more on this later), home fried potatoes, bacon, toast, beans, coffee (I was not much of a coffee drinker back then), milk and juice. A hearty meal was certainly to be enjoyed by one and all.
Dear old Dad was getting ready for work about this time and before leaving he asks my brother to go out and warm up the truck while he makes a trip to the bathroom.
Naturally, my older brother obliges and heads out to the truck to get it started and warm it up, this is where the fun begins as my brother being a real devious joker suddenly had a prime opportunity to get the old man but good.
As he starts up the truck he begins to feel the rumblings of a very terrible fart building up and lets it loose inside the truck, Thinking very quickly he cranks the heat on to full blast and bails out of the truck very quickly and closes the door.
Consider this scenario, pickled eggs and beer from the night before, eggs and beans with breakfast plus the heater going full bore in the truck (and that heater in the truck really puts out a lot of heat). What we have are the ingredients for what is about to happen in a few minutes.
My brother is safely back in the house sitting at the kitchen table drinking his coffee with a huge shit eating grin, our mother is watching him wondering what the devil he is up to. About this time the old man heads out to the truck and no sooner does he sit down behind the wheel when the results of my brothers actions begin to have their desired effect as the unholy stench assaults my father all at once and he bails out of the truck coughing, gagging and barfing. Once he recovers he leaves the drivers door open and walks over to the passenger side and opens that door up as well to air out the truck. Next he comes storming back inside as my brother bolts for the bathroom to wreak havoc in there as well.
The old man commences to screaming “You ROTTEN SONOFABITCH!!! If you ever eat pickled eggs when we go drinking again, I WILL KILL YOU!!!” Now my mother catches on and breaks out laughing and now I too am able to put the whole thing together as well and I am on the floor in side splitting laughter. All my mother can say at this point to the old man is “He got ya huh?” And like most dads, he too had gas and would let rip at times with some real gems that could make eyes water.
As for my brother he did not come out unscathed either as while he was in the bathroom he was unable to escape the green cloud that surrounded him and the poor bastard at least had the decency to open a window to air out the bathroom to make it somewhat safe for the next person to use it.
Be wary of anyone who consumes a combination of pickled eggs and beer.