Q: Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?
A: There’s one less drunk.
Q: How does every Irish joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: Whats the difference between a smart Irish man and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they’re both fictional characters
Q: What do you call a big Irish spider?
A: A Paddy long legs.
Q: What’s the difference between Ireland and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: How do you blind an Irish woman?
A: You put a bottle of scotch in front of her.
Q: What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight?
A: Liam Malone
Q: What do you call two gay Irish men?
A: Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Irish beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
Q: What do you call an Irishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.
Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?
A: He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!!
Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short
Q: What is black and blue and found floating up sidedown in the Irish sea?
A: Someone who’s tells a stupid Irish joke
Q: Why did God invent whiskey?
A: So the Irish would never rule the world.
Q: What is Irish diplomacy?
A: It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell. So that he will look forward to making the trip