Home Cooked Meal
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, […]
Continue readingDon’t Forget to Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die
A woman had died in January, but her bank had billed her for their annual service charges for February and March on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly […]
Continue readingFancy Watch
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks “Have you got the time?” Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and […]
Continue readingWhere’s Barney?
A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, “Do you think I’ll find Big Bird in here?” The little […]
Continue readingThe Navy Cure for Snoring
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do […]
Continue readingGreat Truths About Life that Adults Have Learned
– Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. – There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here […]
Continue readingGetting Rid of Telemarketers
If you are anything like me, those telemarketing calls we receive always seem to come at the worst possible time, like when you are making dinner or you have company. What makes it even worse […]
Continue readingA True Friend
When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scummy bastard who made you sad. When you are scared, I will laugh at you and tease you about […]
Continue readingPrison Mail
A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: Dear Husband, “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisoner, knowing that […]
Continue readingHow To Know You’re Ready For Parenthood
MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the […]
Continue readingThe Critical Barber
So the guy goes in to his barber. He’s all excited, and says, “I’m going to go to Rome. I’m flying on Alitalia and staying at the Rome Hilton, and I’m going to see the […]
Continue readingThe Rules of Chocolate
– If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. – Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. […]
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