At confession
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed […]
Continue readingEnglish, Irish and Scottish Wives Playing Golf
The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why […]
Continue readingChicago
Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck…pale, hands shaking in fear. “What’s the matter, afraid […]
Continue readingAdopted
My wife just found out that she was adopted and was devastated.. She kept saying why didn’t they want me?!
Continue readingGuinness
Paddy goes to the home of best friend Mike with some bad news for his wife Mary. Upon arrival and being greeted by Mary, Paddy tells her “Aye, Mary I have wee bit o’ terrible […]
Continue readingRejected pick-up lines
“Nice legs. When do they open?” “Nice mouth. When does it shut?” “How did you get to be so beautiful?” “I must have been given your share.”
Continue readingNaked
Murphy comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. Mary is laying naked on the bed Murphy “Mary what you doing, lying there naked on the bed”? Mary “Murph, I have nothing to wear”. Murphy “What you mean you have […]
Continue readingMy wife walked in to the room when I was in the
middle of a furious argument with our son. When he ran out of the room crying, I said to my wife, “God, I wish that I’d used a condom now.”
Continue readingAll about health and fitness
Get a look at these redneck six pack abs. Mine got traded in for a keg years ago
Continue readingHow To Make Pie
Grandma made such beautiful pies. One day I asked her, “How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?” “Well, it’s a family secret,” she said. “But if you […]
Continue readingBoating Surprise
Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face. Dave says, “John, what are you so happy for?”
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