Author Archive: The Portly Irishman
Surviving Christmas with your sanity intact
The holiday season officially starts on the last Friday of November, when the first shopper is trampled at Walmart. But the holidays really begin on December 26, the day after last year’s Christmas, when your […]
Continue readingSmart Cars
Two people were slightly injured today when the Smart Car they were driving collided with a squirrel.
Continue readingGet a Haircut
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said […]
Continue readingGood Night, Good Bye
A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers – which she ended by saying “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and […]
Continue readingThings to Say When Caught Sleeping at Work
“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” – “This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.”
Continue readingWhat I do for a living
Amateur comedian and webmaster by night but during the daytime I do tech support. Yes that is right, technical support and that can pose its own set of unique challenges especially when there is a […]
Continue readingThe Balloonist
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell […]
Continue readingSauerkraut
A doctor started an affair with his nurse. Shortly after this started, she announced that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a large amount on money and asked […]
Continue readingIf The Earth Were a Small Village
If we could shrink the earth’s population to a village of 100 people, with everything else remaining the same, it would look like this: There would be:
Continue readingPentagon Incentive
The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured in a […]
Continue readingMore How to Mess Up a Job Interview
We’ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we’ve all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don’t bite your nails. Don’t fidget. Don’t interrupt. Don’t belch. If we did any of […]
Continue reading