Author Archive: The Portly Irishman

Meanwhile up in Alaska

The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was driving along near a campground when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the […]

Little Johnny

One day, little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked the kids to learn a new word over the weekend. On Monday, they would have to use the new word in a sentence. Little […]

Employee Evaluation

Be sure to read through to the bottom… 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to […]

Another Blond Joke

A blonde’s car breaks down on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench […]

Golf Ethics Question

You are playing in your local club tournament tied for the lead after 17 holes. On the 18th hole you hit a 250 ft drive. Your opponent hooks his shot off into the woods. Being […]

Great one liners

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder… 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t. Why is “abbreviation” such […]

Blind checker

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart “associate” standing there […]

Morris

Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days […]

Two Alligators

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, “I don’t understand how you can be so much bigger than I am. We’re the […]

Scam

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you […]

Ways to Order Pizza by Phone

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Use CB lingo where […]

A stupid, good ‘ol Texan boy on a flight

flags down a steward and says, “Captain, I want a drink but I don’t see any of those sexy little stewardesses around”. The steward answers, “Actually I’m not the captain. This airline is proud to […]

« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 … 23 Next »