Old lady Marge had a plumbing problem

The plumber spent almost an hour on the repair. When Marge saw the bill for $175 she said Wait! This can’t be right. This is about twice as much as my Doctor charges for a […]

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A beautiful mid-twenties blonde

, trained by her dad to do handy-man work, needed to make a few extra bucks. She put on her hip belt full of tools and rushed to the wealthiest of neighborhoods and knocked on […]

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Boxing

He boxed as Kid Candle. One blow and he was out. He fought under the name Kid Cousteau, because he took so many dives. He boxed as Kid Picasso, because he spent so much time […]

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Specialty Doctor

A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient, was understandably nervous. When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument, and the tooth dropped down into the […]

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Safe Spaces

Generally speaking I try to keep my political leanings to myself on this site but there are those occasions when I see crap that has gone on since the election that just make me wonder […]

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Old Man and the Police

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD, AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE George Phillips, an elderly man, from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left […]

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Old fart goes to the Doctor

“Doc, you GOTTA help me”, says the old man. “What seems to be the problem?” asks the Doctor. “Well every morning, right at eight O’clock, I take a shit. It’s like clockwork. And it’s ruining […]

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The Monkey at the bar

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats […]

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Virginity explained by Confucius

Disciple: “Male virgins are often shamed and ridiculed.” Confucius: “Exactly.” Disciple: “However, female virgins are viewed in a more positive way. Where does the difference come from?” Confucius: “An army that has failed all its […]

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Shlomo was walking home late at night and

sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty dollars”, she whispers. Shlomo had never been with a hooker before, but what the heck, its only twenty bucks, so they hide in the bushes. They’re in there […]

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Two Jews walk by a church and

notice a sign: ‘Convert Now – Receive the truth of Christ and $2,000’. One of them says to the other, “$2,000 is a lot of money. Let me go in and see what they have […]

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Will Hell freeze over?

The answer was purportedly in response to the bonus question on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm: “Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?” First, we need to know how the mass […]

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