At last, they’re finally together..

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At […]

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Spring ahead, time travellers

This past weekend we went through the ritual of moving our clocks ahead an hour. Here are a few tributes to that event!

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If you’re a cop…

…Nine Ways NOT To Start Your Police Report: 1. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times … 2. The names contained in this report have been changed to protect the […]

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At confession

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed […]

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English, Irish and Scottish Wives Playing Golf

The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why […]

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Chicago

Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck…pale, hands shaking in fear. “What’s the matter, afraid […]

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Adopted

My wife just found out that she was adopted and was devastated.. She kept saying why didn’t they want me?!

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Guinness

Paddy goes to the home of best friend Mike with some bad news for his wife Mary. Upon arrival and being greeted by Mary, Paddy tells her “Aye, Mary I have wee bit o’ terrible […]

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Rejected pick-up lines

“Nice legs. When do they open?” “Nice mouth. When does it shut?” “How did you get to be so beautiful?” “I must have been given your share.”

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Naked

Murphy comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. Mary is laying naked on the bed Murphy “Mary what you doing, lying there naked on the bed”? Mary “Murph, I have nothing to wear”. Murphy “What you mean you have […]

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How To Make Pie

Grandma made such beautiful pies. One day I asked her, “How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?” “Well, it’s a family secret,” she said. “But if you […]

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